Feeling Hope
by BraveRadin
Summary: Pain. Anger. Hatred. Disapproval. Lust. Vengeance. Death. Love. Redemption. Hope. These are the words that described Jasper Hale's existence. This is of his creation, his hell, his demons, and his hope. His life.


**A/N: **So, basically this was an idea that I've been formulating at the back of my mind for a while now. Wow, that sounds kind of weird. Anyway, this is the story of Jasper's life, from his last days as a human, to his life with the Cullens. Hope you enjoy...

**Disclaimer: **I own little bits here and there. Like some of the newborns. And the plotline, kind of, OK Stephanie Meyer owns it, but whatever.

**Summary: **Pain. Anger. Hatred. Disapproval. Lust. Vengeance. Death. Love. Redemption. Hope. These are the words that described Jasper Hale's existence. This is of his creation, his hell, his demons, and his hope. His life.

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**Jasper's POV**

It was a dark night. There were stars, as there would be any night on the lonely planes. I was riding Sterling; my Stallion that had and continued to serve me will in the Confederate Cavalry. I, like any other young man, was fascinated with the prospect of going to war. Battle wasn't often, but I had witnessed so many deaths, many those of close friends, so many, in fact, I was beginning to lose count.

I spurred Sterling on, with the destination of the Confederate Camp. I had spent almost two weeks out here, with no one but myself and my steed to keep my company. I, the youngest Major in the Ranks, felt like nothing could take me on.

I headed towards the unnamed river, a well used crossing point for many of our men.

That's when I saw them

There were three; they appeared to be women, as they wore long, white dresses. In the glow of the moonlight, I could make out their features, but only barely. They were all inhumanly beautiful. Two had fair, white hair and beautiful, fiery features. The one that stood in the middle had long brown hair that flowed down her back, her features betrayed her origins, Mexican, I guessed. She, like the two other women, was beautiful.

Like a good Texan Gentlemen, I rode up to the ladies, and dismounted Sterling, dropping his reins.

Dipping my hat, I bowed to the three ladies,

"Evening, Ladies,"

The one on my left, the Mexicans right, whispered something into her ears. The Mexican one smiled slightly, and then the other on her left said something else. She was speaking so softly I couldn't hear here, and I knew it was a Gentlemen's place not to ask.

Then the middle one advanced towards me.

"What's your name?" She asked, not sharply, as her voice was soft and quiet

"Major Jasper Whitlock, ma'am," I replied

"Oh! He's a soldier too!" One of the women squealed

"Let's go hunting," The other said, and the two disappeared into the night, faster than any human should

"I do hope you survive," The Mexican one said, moving forward until she was just inches from my face

By now, every being in my body screamed at me to run, to get the hell out of there, but my gentlemen instinct was stronger, it told me to stay in the event this woman needed help

"I do hope..." She trailed off

She leant into my neck, as if she was going in to kiss me.

The fire erupted. I clasped my hand to my neck, backing away from the woman

"You bit me!" I accused

She just smiled, showing my blood on her lips

The pain became too much, I fell to the ground, screaming louder than any man could. I felt like I was going to die. I heard the patter of Sterling's hooves as he galloped off. Still screaming, I felt strong, cold hands pick me up. I felt air rushing against my face, someone must be carrying me, I assumed.

As time went on, the pain got worse. My throat became so dry that I could no longer scream in agony, instead, I was reduced to whimpering. In my head, I scolded myself for my childishness, but I couldn't help it. I tore at myself, my clothes, trying to rid the pain. I began to wish I were dead, that I didn't have to continue living like this. I begged for anyone, _anyone _to kill me, to end my life. I didn't want to continue feeling this pain.

I don't know how long it was, but the pain began to subside. I was still unable to call out, to release the scream that had been building up.

I felt my heart beat fast, faster than it should. It got faster and faster, until in a final burst of pain, I could no longer feel it.

I remained still, with my eyes closed. Was this what it felt like to be dead? To feel no pain? Was it really over?

"Maybe he wasn't strong enough," I heard a woman say

"He is." A stronger voice replied

"I wish you would've let me have him, he smelled so _delicious_." A third joined in

"I told you, he's special. Now hush, Nettie, he is awake."

A hand touched my shoulder briefly, and my eyes flew open. Before I knew it, I was over the other side of a decrepit room.

I remembered them, they were the three women that I had met, how long ago was it? I had lost all track of time. It could've been minutes, hours, or even days. I had no idea.

I looked down at my hands, I felt different. Leaner, quicker. My hands were of pale colour, like stone.

"What did you do to me?" I asked

Even my voice was different. It still held the Texan accent, but it was lower, it was deep, a growl of sorts. Nevertheless, it was soft, beautiful even.

"He really has no idea," One of the white-haired ladies giggled

"Hush, Lucy, he can be forgiven."

"No idea of what?" I asked suspiciously, as the Mexican advanced towards me

"Of what you are, what you've become." She replied, touching my face

Her touch was cool and soothing. But I remained tense. My face tensed a little as I swallowed deeply.

"And what is that, wench?" I spat the cruellest of vulgarities that I knew

She slapped me across the face; the blow was hard enough to make my head turn to the side, "Do not talk to your creator like that, Major Whitlock."

"Creator?" I asked, I had no idea what she was talking about

She sighed, and looked into my eyes. For the first time, I noticed I noticed her eyes. They were of a deep, red colour. Her irises were a deep, soulless black. She appeared to notice my curious stare.

"They're like yours, now," She laughed, the sound of an angel

I frowned. My eyes were brown, not read. She was a strange woman that was for sure.

She motioned to one of the women, Lucy. Lucy picked up a mirror on the floor, and passed it to the Mexican woman. She held it up in front of my face.

I looked...I looked like her. My face was chiselled, stone-like, and of an alabaster colour. But the eyes, my eyes mirrored hers. My eyes were a bright burgundy, the irises of a deep, impenetrable black.

"You're a vampire," The woman said, removing the mirror

"A vampire?" I repeated, "They don't exist."

"Ah, but they do," The woman replied, "Otherwise we would not be hear

I tried to push away from her; she was a magician, making me look like that. But I remembered looking at my hands, they mirrored my face.

"You do not have to fear, I am here to help." She smiled, showing off her perfect teeth, "My name is Maria."

"Major-,"

"Jasper Whitlock, I know. You've already introduced yourself."

I felt myself smiling, although I didn't want too. Dislike had suddenly morphed into a quiet curiosity.

I swallowed, and found my throat was drier than I'd ever felt before.

"You're thirsty," Maria accused, almost as if she was angry at me

I nodded once.

"You need to trust me," Maria said, "And trust your instinct. Do not fear yourself, understood?"

Again, I nodded.

"Good," Maria appeared satisfied, and turned to the two other women, "Take care of the others. I'm going hunting."

The two women nodded and disappeared.

"Come on," Maria tugged on my hand, and I felt myself trusting her, although my internal instinct told me there was more to here than what met the eye

She led me to a balcony, and jumped onto the railing. Cautiously, I followed her movements. To my surprise, I found I could do exactly that, without difficulty.

"Keep up," She demanded, and then jumped from the railing

I looked downwards, surely the fall would've killed her, but she was unharmed.

_Of course, Major_, I cursed myself, _She's one of you. A vampire._

She ran off into the darkness, and I found myself following her before I understood what was going on.

I caught up to her with ease; she had stopped in a deserted alleyway.

"Excuse me, Ma'am?" I began to ask, but again cut me off

"Do you smell that?" She asked

I frowned, something smelt lovely. So _delicious_.

"What is it?" I asked

"Blood," She replied simply

I frowned, "Blood?"

"What did I tell you, Major, about trusting your instincts?"

"To trust them," I replied simply

"Go find it." She commanded

I obediently obeyed her, for she was all I had to answer my questions. I didn't like the others; I was distrustful of them, for some reason.

Using my sense of smell, I drew closer and closer to the sweet smell. I came upon a fetid house, not unlike the one I had just left. Maria appeared before me, gesturing to go inside.

I found a small family of four huddled in a small room. Instantly, my mouth became wet with desire. I wanted them.

Again, Maria appeared beside me.

"Trust yourself," She whispered into my ear

I raised my eyebrow, and felt a sinister grin spread across my face.

In an instant, I was beside the family, the mother I guessed. Her eyes widened, as if she had only just noticed I was here. I was directly in front of her face, barely inches from her. He husband sat up quickly, a roar spreading across his face.

Within in instant, I latched onto her neck, and bit into it. I wasn't concerned about what Maria was doing, but I heard the snap of necks, and assumed she was doing the same as I.

As the woman struggled beneath me, I sucked into her with more forced, her blood spilling into my mouth sated the burn in my throat, but not my much. Her struggles became weaker and weaker, until finally her body became limp, and her struggles ceased. I continued to gulp greedily, until nothing else came. She was empty.

I threw her carcass onto the bed carelessly, eager for more. Although I knew it was wrong, it made me more comfortable.

I looked down at myself, my Confederate Uniform, which I had treasured so dearly, was stained with her blood. I looked at Maria, who had taken out the remaining members of the family, who had finished on the father. Still in her white dress, she had not spilled a drop on her.

"Don't worry," She said, noticing my glance, "You'll get better with practise."

She motioned to the two children strewn on the floor, and I greedily delved into them.

Less than ten minutes after we had first entered the family home, we exited, and I followed Maria to what appeared to be our 'home'.

As we walked through the doors, Maria turned back to me.

"Welcome to our family, Major."

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**A/N: **Well, I hope you enjoyed it! Please review and let me know what you think!

**BraveRadin**


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